Hope

Our Celebrate Recovery lesson last night was on hope, and I had and have to keep coming back to that. I've been trying to draw, trying to trust my mental state into God's hands and watch Him work and have means of healing. This morning I woke up with such stiff muscles in my shoulders and neck I was really discouraged. Drawing requires standing in position for long periods of time, and I sort of chalked up the discomfort to that. I feel like, now what? Is this going to improve or am I looking at a constant battle to stay flexible? I can sit. But I'm going to have to find ways to not concentrate for long periods, get up and stretch, and just know that I have to exercise every day to stay flexible. It's a life long proposition-how do I think I'm going to escape growing older? So I researched, and found a good site for 50plus folks to be encouraged to exercise, stretch, and find ways to remain active and healthy. I'm going to invest in a foam roller for my neck and back. There is a yoga class I've been meaning to attend just down the road and now it looks like I have no excuse. I've also been typing more, so I'm sure that is part of it.

I even looked up artist's health problems. I found one on musicians, who practice for hours and hold their instruments and move arms and fingers with constant repeat motion. The one story that grabbed me was a musician that was in constant pain from playing, told a doctor "it causes me pain when I do this (playing motion)" and they were told well, just stop doing "this". Stop? Ok, there has to be a better answer. The article did say that many students at the university level already have pain. I never had to deal with that-pain that interferes with a life passion at the start of a career? No drawing is not my life or livelihood, but it is something that I can still do and feel I have some identity that is mine, or some purpose, when so much in my life has changed. And I looked up successful actors who suffer with debilitating pain. I don't. BUT...all had to adjust their lives.

I think that if there is strong purpose in a life, it carries us through just about anything. So that is my prayer. That God would help me have the grace to do whatever it is He wants me to do. And thankfulness that His love is always with me when other things fall away.